I was on My Way Down South, In Search of My Youth

(James Jean)

So you promise you'll take me back to town? Even if I drown?
'Here's my pledge- We'll sail to the edge', you said..
You said it, and by God, I'm going to hold you to it.
Cause my dear the waves are rising, and I think we're capsizing

Inbox

From:	Jan-Lee Chin	August 10, 2009 7:43 PM
To:	Bruce Norton
Subject:	SIR NORTON

I HAVE A MATTER OF UTMOST IMPORTANCE !
ARE YOU STILL IN POSSESSION OF MY MULTIMEDIA WORK FROM YR10 AND 11?!
PLEASE TELL ME YOU'VE KEPT IT IN A TITANIUM SAFE, HIDDEN BEHIND A SECRET WARDROBE, AND THE ONLY KEY THAT OPENS IT IS HUNG AROUND A GIANT THREE HEADED DOG WHICH CAN NOT BE TAMED BY ANYONE BUT YOU

sincerely,
JAN-LEE



>>> Bruce Norton 08/11/09 9:38 AM >>>
Dear Jan-Lee,
I know where the dog lives and when he sleeps.
But, you have something of mine I will make a deal!
Please make arrangements.

B Norton



>>> Jan-Lee Chin 08/11/09 6:40 PM >>>
Good Sir, I am thrilled to hear that your dog is well. You will be happy to know that your Wacom Table is in pristine condition.
I'm actually using it right now. At this very moment. It's so good.
..Just wondering, would I be able to make my transaction in advance?
I kindof still need the tablet.. and well, you don't really need my work so.......
Tell me when you're free and I'll come pick it up.

Peace,
Jan-Lee



>>> Bruce Norton 08/12/09 10:20 AM >>>
NO DEAL

NO TABLET

NO WORK

From: Jan-Lee Chin August 19, 2009 5:47 PM To: Bruce Norton Subject: BLACKMAIL Attachments: hostage.jpg (65552 bytes) [View] [Open] [Save As]

Just thought you should know.. I found the three-headed dog
and I am willing to trade him for my work

Let me know how you want this to end,
Jan-Lee



>>> Bruce Norton 08/19/09 6:17 PM >>>
Dear Jan,
If you harm a single hair on the three headed dog, your work will vanish into cyber space.
I will suddenly have a file management problem.
I need to know if the Tablet is safe.
Must see evidence!
Thanks

B Norton

▲∴⦿∴▲

'Hey, you ok?'

'Ierno.. well, my bottle leaked today, all my food got drenched and I had no water to drink. I'm three chapters behind in Maths.. I just don't get any of that, it takes me two days to solve one question. Psychology is driving me mental. I have an endless supply of English essay topics to work on. The final piece for my Visual Communication folio was due last week, and it is still incomplete. I haven't found the time to cut my nails, so I type with flat fingers and m,ake a lto of msiaktes. The Nutella jar is almost empty and VCAA is trying to kick me out of high school, which means- I have to start looking for another community that will accept me

..But yeah, I think I'll be fine'

It Came Like That

The wind came to me yesterday, gave me a gift and a shower or two
'Aww thanks' I said, 'you're too kind.. What is it ?'
It cackled and clapped its hands excitedly 'Open it, open it !'
So I unwrapped it..

AND NOW I HAVE THE FLU OF DEATH

Here's the Pitch, Richie Rich

These kids are shizzle !
If I was ten, living in America during 1994, we'd be tighter than a baseball glove two sizes too small, working those backward caps and Ray-Bans while we strut the streets like the cool cats we are



Herbert Cadbury: You can't play with THESE children. I must protest!
Richie Rich: Cadbury, CHILL. I'll be fine.
Herbert Cadbury: But they probably haven't even been VACCINATED!




Richie Rich: Come on. Let me hit
Gloria: Forget it; you probably couldn't even hit a BEACH BALL
Richie Rich: I could hit it off of YOU.
Gloria: [insulted] All right - You think you're so hot? Put your money where your mouth is!
Richie Rich: You mean bet?
Tony: Yeah. $5 says she could put you away for keeps.
Gloria: $5? How about $10?
Richie Rich: Okay - Seems a little steep, but $10 thousand it is.
[He whips it out, and they all freak out]
Gloria: No, not $10 thousand. $10 dollars
Richie Rich: Oh, $10 dollars. Okay.
Herbert Cadbury: Master Richie, I do think it unseemly in the extreme for you to take these children's money.
Gloria: What are you doing, Mr. Fancy Pants? Asking the old guy for batting tips?
Herbert Cadbury: [insulted] Take their backsides to the cleaners, Master Richie.




Pee-Wee: I just ate
Tony: You always "just ate"

Resistance

I still haven't watched Harry Potter..
THIS IS SO UNBELIEVABLY UPSETTING

Somewhere Between This and a Hundred

Eating Nutella.. with a spoon